Talk is Cheap

Alright, so I know I haven't posted anything in a while. Mostly because I've been tired as hell, but today's experiences have enraged me enough to get on here.

If there's one thing -- one thing -- I learned (or confirmed, since I've thought this for a while) that people are idiots. Complete and utter morons.

Just once I wish he wasn't.

"But Kyle," you stupidly attempt to argue with me, "I'm people. I am not stupid!" Yes, you are. Sit down; shut up. Read. Maybe you actually are intelligent, but since those kind of people area rare breed, it's pretty safe to assume that you're an idiot. Whether a slightly-below-average idiot or a I-write-my-name-on-my-undies idiot, you're an idiot nonetheless. Or maybe you're not. The hell if I know.

Anyway, as always, I have an example. Evidence to support my claims is always nice, isn't it? I could go off on that, but that's another rant for another time. Today, during an English class, we looked through USA Today's website and check out some pictures of war protesters (y'know, about the Syria thing). The first one to illicit an idiotic reaction was one of a group of protestors... well, protesting.

This one.

And holy shit, can you guess what my classmates did? Go ahead, guess. It shouldn't be too hard.

If you answered "said something intelligent and meaningful in relation to this image," then you'd be dead wrong. However, if you answered "HAHAHA OBAMA = AL... how do I pronounce that word?" Then you are one of those idiots and I hope this offends you enough to write me hate mail. I'm not even going to tell you what Al-Qaeda is, Google it for yourself. There was one person -- a male of the Negro (I can say that, dammit! If you find it to be racist, it's you own fault) variety -- who didn't even know what Al-Qaeda was. Al-Qaeda; the arch-nemesis of this imbecilic "war on terror." The group synonymous with the September 11 attacks. And he didn't know who they were. Holy shit. I'm not sure if he's just that stupid, or the educational system is letting us this far down (to be fair, it's already letting us down pretty far). I mean, sure I watch the news every morning, but you'd think that we, as a country, would know about a rather large terrorist group that dislikes us.

And do you want to know what a good 25% of the rest of the class did? Laugh. Like overgrown children, they laughed. My best guess is because "Al-Qaeda iz ud fonny werd."

And that's not even everything. There was a picture that followed just after that one.

It's this one.

Now what could this possibly mean? Is it about how the newlywed couple were protesting in their own right? Is it about finding happiness even in tough situations? I actually have no clue, because the caption didn't say. But if there was one detail you would notice, what would it be?

Funny enough, that same 25% of my class noticed "the white girl with the phone." And you know what they thought about her? That she was "childish." Please, for the love of all that is holy, please explain to me just how her behavior is childish? She could have been recording the protest (it's happened before). Or perhaps she's taking a picture of the person taking a picture. I'd get pretty hyped if I saw someone from USA Today taking a picture of me. But no, that painfully large percentage of people thought it was childish. Idiots.

There's only one thing worse than an idiot, and that's a loud one. Oh yea, I had to deal with one of those today too. Well, not just one. There are a multitude of them that run rampant around the school. I come in close contact with several every day.

Every single thought they blurt out sounds as if it were ground in a cow's intestines and just about as intelligent. Words can't even describe how unsurpassably dense I find these people. Seriously. I just tried using a thesaurus, and even then there wasn't anything descriptive enough.

I hate things like this, and yet I still feel compelled to use it.

Idiots will be the death of me.

No Small Children

Do you know what stem cells are? If your answer was something along the lines of "in between the root and leaf cells" then congratulations, you have no problems with the following rage. If you said something along the lines of "THEY ARE TO NEVER BE USED," "IT IS A SIN," or "we should kill all the babies and harvest them," then you, sir and/or (I don't judge) ma'am, are -- in the kindest words I can muster at this moment -- a fucking twat.

Let's set something straight right now: I am a pro-baby-shooter. That's right, Kyle likes when things live. Go ahead, write that hate comment. I'll wait...

Done? Good. Right about now, maybe half of you are all "Kyle is one of us! Fight the good fight!" and the other half are something like "Are you that stupid and insensitive, Kyle? Why should someone be forced to <insert the line I hear every single time about why I should be pro-bortion>?!" And here's my message to the latter group: Shut up. My message to the former group: Shut up. Just because I support one side more than another means nothing except for that I have the capabilities to make a decision on my own. I could spend a whole rant about why I take the stance that I do, but that's not why we're here today.

Today, we're going to talk about stem cell research. For those of you who don't know what stem cell research is (i.e. the plant analog group), then let me explain it a bit.

Stem cells are undifferentiated cells. This means that they've yet to take on a specific role; they haven't specialized yet. They're like hopeful actors who've yet to get type-cast and be stuck in a miserable position until they die. Thankfully, they're children will follow in their footsteps and try to fulfill their parent's dream, and which point the process repeats. Anyway, these cells are highly valued because they can become any sort of cell they're placed around. A good amount of bad mojo could be curable with the use of stem cells. There's just one catch:

These cells usually come from unborn fetuses. True, they can also be located in bone marrow, but those stem cells are harder to get to and not as flexible.

Do you see where this is all going? Right along the fiery hell path that leads to baby land. Er... baby lovers versus baby haters? Baby obsessors over realists? Hell, I don't know. Let's put it terms I'm most comfortable with (those being insults): "Anti-choice and Baby Slayer." By the way, if anyone can give me better insults, it would be much appreciated. Anyway, there's the whole debate on whether it's moral or not to harvest said cells for medical research. But, like all great debates, people are too stupid and pig headed to come to a compromise about it.

So let's go with the great equalizer: Myself. Here's the plan: let's not purposefully kill whatever-you-want-to-call-it (I prefer nutrient parasite). However, if the (through whatever reasons, be they natural or otherwise) nutrient parasites weren't making it anyway or were micarried (but the cells still viable) then we can agree it's alright to do.

Side note: we can still get stem cells from developed humans. Even corpses! So really, if everyone stopped being  Jesus freaks/little bitches/whatever might insult you and donated some stem cells, then we might not even need to eradicate the vile womb infester! True, it hurts a lot, but can we all take one for the benefit of our entire fucking species?! You know what, I take the first part of that last statement back; donating stem cells is like giving blood, you little pansies. Just take this in for a moment:

Not a wimp.

This man can do it. Why not you?! There is legitimately not a reason why the general populace can't take a day to go donate something they hardly use so that research on a ground-breaking field of medicine can move further along without any of the moral disagreements that come along with the job. It's a win-win situation; the baby lovers keep their babies (for now) and the fetus abusers get their most holy of holy cells.

Stem cell research is an amazing field of study and one that, while I may not condone where some of the cells come from, it is one that I fully support. The possibilities of it are amazing and shouldn't be passed up just because a few people don't like the idea (which could be a rant of its own). Can we all just figure out how to compromise now?

It's only offensive if you make it offensive.

Have you ever noticed how people get offended? I have. In fact, it happens to me a lot. Every day.

Now have you noticed like people care that you offended them? "Hey!" They'll shout. "That's offensive!" To which I respond, "Why should I care?"

And why should I? The only possible reason why I would care is because it makes me a generally annoying and ill-wanted person if I'm offensive. The goodness of a person's heart is the ONLY reason why that person wouldn't say something offensive.

Now, I know you're like "But Kyle, what about <insert social factor here>?" And I'll agree with you, that factor could be considered important. But here's the flaw with social factors: there is never a unanimous opinion on them. If Politician A says something that offends Group B, then Group B might get uppity and talk-out about Politician A.

The equation for this is Group B's offensiveness >/= Politician A's offensiveness. Rather ironic, isn't it? The very people who complained about someone being offensive are the ones being more offensive.

Now let's say there's a Group C; people who agree with Politician A. Those people will defend Politician A, and, in reaction to Group B's higher offensiveness, will be greater than of more offensive.

So, what we have is Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Politician A's offensiveness. It's like three levels of stupidity!

"But Kyle, you can't tell people they're stupid!"
"I don't care."

Normally I don't call out stupidity for these kinds of things, because people DO have a right to be offended. But when it's handled in a way that only breeds more hate, then it's grounds for stupidity.

And in the words of the late Billy May: "But wait! There's more!" That's right, folks, the equation doesn't end. It never does! Just check it out:

Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Group C's offensiveness >/= Group B's Offensiveness >/= Politician A's offensiveness. And so on and so forth.

Do you see what I mean?! It's stupid! It's an infinite loop of imbecilic arguing and wasted breath. It's like if Satan had the IQ of an unborn fetus, cloned himself about 40,000 times, and then all those Satans had a massive orgy, the likes of which only the depths of Hell could hold!

At this point, I've kinda lost where I was going. So, I think I'll just wrap it up.

No, I do not care if I offend you in any manner. And don't go around thinking that shouting "That's offensive!" is going to make me change either. If you really want to do something about it just be chill. "Hey, Kyle. It's not cool what you said about my mother. She has cancer." To which I would reply "Sorry, bro. Wanna go eat some food?" because I am always willing to split a bag of chips and some sandwiches.
Please note this doesn't mean I'll always suffer from diarrhea of the mouth (and at that, the excessively stinky kind). I do, and you may want to sit down for this, have the gift of sentience and am self-aware of what I'm saying (that might be a good rant topic...). If the situation arises, I know when to sit down and shut up. But until then: "Nobody has ever loved you."